How are you all doing?
Well…I am much better now than what I was about 2 months ago.
If you wish to know in full what has happened in the past, please refer to my previously blog post here.
And for a quick recap:
For the past few months I have been going through a state of depression, questioning everything about myself, my beliefs, self-esteem etc.
When this happens, we witches/Wiccans call this a Dark Night Of The Soul.
This is simply a fancy way for saying that we are going through a dark time in order to see who we really are within ourselves and when we emerge, we have discovered new things and have a greater understanding of who we are and are more in alignment with our own True Self.
I have learned much and I am still learning and growing, but now I am doing it in the light.
I have emerged from the Underworld. I have completed my Persephone Ascent.
And it all started with what I had discovered about myself in my previous blog post. To pick out what I said previously:
“…I think I am beginning to understand about myself more in little ways: for example, when I feel down, I can get artistic/creative and that makes me feel a little happy – and I am also slowly rediscover my passion for Goddess, although I still have bigger battles to fight, such as the feelings of self-esteem and worthiness and having to trust and let go completely…”
In fact, being creative during my descent has helped me so much in so many ways.
Amazingly, there are also many spiritual and witchcraft books that recommend that either when you are on a Dark Night Of The Soul or on your period (which is a powerful magical thing for us female witches!) – get creative!
Go and do new things – it helps to take your mind off what your ego or shadow self may be trying to impose on you negatively – yes, I do understand that it can be VERY hard to motivate yourself to do so when depression/mental illness has its claws firmly around you in what may be a vice-like grip – I have been there.
But…you do not need to do anything big or dramatic to take that first baby step.
Start by writing, drawing, singing, dancing your feelings out.
That is creativity.
That is a small step.
It has been proven, scientifically, that by doing the above things – it does help out in the long run. It’s just finding a method that suits you.
For me personally, it was writing and music. I’d put on my favourite music while writing out my feelings or using my writing in a creative way.
Heck, even writing out the previous blog – that was a small step in getting me out of the dark and understanding myself. 🙂
Going back to the quote; I have done a ton of creative things, these projects were mostly spaced out but the slide show below will show you what I got up to creatively.
So I did a few hand made crafts and rearranged my bedroom altar and made a new Goddess shrine in the bedroom too. (P.S. I will be doing a blog on my altars/shrines in the future!).
All this kept me busy, positive and allowed my passion for life and Goddess to shine through.
But I think what really got me out was the fact that, within 3 days I had made a new Book of Shadows; I have written and created within this book non-stop, all my basic knowledge, sacred texts, correspondences.
A Book Of Shadows is a book that contains all the witches knowledge, spells, rituals and notes/thoughts on their spiritual life and path.
I personally have 2 – one is a diary of my thoughts, rituals (usually Esbats – moon rituals) and spells; the other is a culmination of all knowledge I have thus far.
Everything you see in my Book of Shadows in the slide show is all hand written and drawn by yours truly. But I will not show you anything further than what I have – after all a Book of Shadows is private and personal to the individual, but I am OK with showing what is probably known to all pagans, such as the Wheel of the Year.
On top of being creative: I have also gotten back into reading my spiritual books. Before, I was only able to read and digest a few pages at a time.
Then, after getting creative; that in turn allowed me to read more and more – I finished 3 books within 1 week – talk about making up for lost time!
And within these books, I began to see parallels to myself and what I was going through – a whole heaping of understanding washed through me with every book I finished – my shadow self and ego fought very hard against the truths that were coming through me and helping me see and be more aligned with my True Self, but I fought on and read more and understood more to the point where my ego and shadow self are (currently) no longer anything more than a white noise to me.
I also went for Transformation Healing with a friend on a weekly basis – this type of healing works at a soul level – with your True Self and it involves you actually healing yourself, not the practitioner, they are there to guide the energy within the session. It is amazing, very emotion and revealing stuff – if one ever gets a opportunity to try it – I would highly recommend it – it worked wonders for me.
I was able to deal with old belief systems that I had instilled in me as a child and let them go or change them; I was able to see into some past lives I had and recognise where some feelings of guilt, shame and fear came from that made no sense in this current lifetime and face it and let it go (mostly, I am still working on some things!).
In all, these past few months have been tough and dark, but they have been so healing and revealing for me too.
I have no doubt that more Dark Nights Of The Soul will come again in the future, hopefully not for a long while (fingers crossed…or pentacled!), but now that I have emerged from Hades with Persephone by my side, I do feel like a new person, with greater understanding of who I am.
I am a beautiful being of love and light.
I am a daughter of the Goddess.
I am a healer, a crystal healer.
I am a witch.
I am me.
I am Emma Jane Glasgow.
Thank you for reading.
Bright Blessings to you all.