Happy New Year 2018

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Happy New Year! May 2018 bring you the Brightest Blessings!

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“It may be winter outside, but in my heart, it’s spring…”

Anyways – just a short blog to wish you all the best for 2018 and to let you all know that I am planning to do more blogs – I have several ideas already planned; I plan to do at least 2 blogs per month, continuing on from what I have already done thus far but also adding in some new posts – such as faveourite book/movie reviews, advice blogs on certain topics, expanding on topics I’ve already wrote about in more detail etc.

Until then, take care and Brightest Blessings. xxx

serenity silver crystal

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My Fashion Style #1

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So today I am going to talk about my personal fashion style; what I wore as a child and teenager and in My Fashion Style Blog #2, I will discuss how certain idols, events and spirituality influenced my current fashion.

I do hope that you enjoy! So let’s begin…

My Fashion Style #1

OK, if I was to describe my fashion style with just ONE word…

It would be…

ELEGANT.

As my quote says “Kindness, elegance and spirit are beautiful.”
I truly believe that these three things are important and key to being a good soul while on this earth.

Early Days

Ever since I was little, I have always loved dresses and loved dressing up in pretty makeup and jewellery that my Mum and Nana had. I loved shiny, pretty things and how they would compliment dresses and make one look elegant and princess-y.
I always wanted to look like a Lady, like my maternal Nana was. No matter what time of day, my Nana was always elegantly dressed and made up, even if it was for a walk down to the beach with her grandkids!

So I’d say, from a young age – Nana was one of my biggest inspirations in fashion because she was a Lady.  And I am very grateful for that. Many of my family say now, that I do dress, act and look a little like Nana now – and that is a huge comfort to me.

And of course – there was also always the Disney Princesses that I grew up with.  I remember constantly saying to my folks, “I’m going to have a Princess Belle dress someday!” and they would laugh and joke and encourage, but as I am now older – I don’t have a Princess Belle Dress, but I do have my own style which is better in retrospect. 🙂

I also did encounter the anime Sailor Moon around the age of 10; the first character I saw was Princess Serenity – so she would have an impact on me, fashion-wise and idol wise for a long time to come – I often remember drawing out her dress and asking Nana is we could ever make it – sadly we never did.

But I was also a tomboy, so I spent a lot of time in shorts and trousers – because at the time they were practical, especially if my friends and I had played in messy places!

I remember one time I went out to play in a pretty, flower dress that was meant for special occasions (dresses were expensive in my day) and I ripped it climbing a fence!!!
I was so upset, I tried sewing it myself and of course, did a hash job. Thankfully, Nana was able to fix it as she was a seamstress.

I don’t really have any photos to share from those times sadly, but I do remember the multi-coloured checkered dress, the flower dress and black jogging trousers that I wore a lot when I was younger. I seemed to fluctuate between being a tomboy and a Lady.

But I didn’t really develop a “style” until my teenage years.

Teenage Style

I have mentioned before in my makeup post that I went through a Gothic stage in my teens.
This was actually influenced by…anime.
Especially the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime. Yami Yugi was my favourite character and I was happy to discover that I already had a similar outfit to him in my everyday drawers – so for most of my teens, that was kind of my “style”.

The photo you see above, was also one of the first photos I ever sent to my now-husband Chris, a few years after we had met online, on a Yu-Gi-Oh! forum of all places.
I wore a black top, blue or black jeans/denim miniskirts, and a gothic neck collar with black cuffs on each wrist. Sometimes I would wear a fashion necklace under the collar – often silver coloured. I always wore my gold hoop earring that my Mum and Dad got for my 16th birthday. I did have some other cheaper earrings – but I rarely wore those. I often did my makeup (although none here in this photo) with black eyeliner, black eyeshadow, black mascara and either red or clear lip gloss. (Red lipstick was a no-no at my school, *sigh*)

It was also around my late teens that I began to wear white – not much, mind you – often in the form of silver/white accessories and jewellery. I did have some white tops and skirts, but wore them only, very occasionally. I also loved wearing boob tubes where I could get away with it – I loved the “off shoulder” look and the fact you didn’t have to wear a bra! (FYI – back then, I had always thought I was a 34B, but it turns out I was measured wrong and carried that for almost 10 years, until I got measured again and found out that I am actually a 34D! Confidence boost or what?)

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Me at 17 in the beginning of my white style. The lady you see in the photo in blue – that’s my maternal Nana. See how she was a Lady? 🙂

So during my teens, I did have some style – but it fluctuated drastically between 2 styles and in truth – they both were a part of me, but I alway felt down the middle about what style was actually “me”.

I was toying with 2 personalities as it were, but not really finding a balance as to how to be “me” and reflect it in my fashion sense. It was always one extreme or another – which is typically to most teenagers I would think, as it’s really during one’s teenage-hood that one begins to question themselves and try to find and explore who they are.

But the style was there – it just needed time to come out and boy did it start too, full force when I went to university and it really kicked off, during my 20s.

But that is all for the next blog.

Yeah, sorry that it’s short – I don’t want to give away all my fashion secrets in one blog!

I hope that you enjoyed this blog and can see and understand where my tastes in my fashion came from and how they are all a part of me now.

Until next time, Bright Blessings!

xxx

 

Persephone Descent #2

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As one can see from the title, I have had another “Persephone Descent” or a Dark Night of the Soul.

This will be a relatively short blog, I apologise for that, but until I can ascend once again, updates will be whenever possible.

Persephone Descent #2

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Once again, I have gone down into the underworld of my soul and it has not been easy or a very nice place to go.

I have been to the doctors and I have been diagnosed with depression – again.
The last time I was diagnosed was back at the end of 2013 after I was bullied out of that horrible job I had at the time. (I will elaborate in another blog in the future).

This time has been pretty bad for me, I have had very dark thoughts, generally very low spirits, no motivation for anything including my spirituality.

Speaking of my spirituality – Wicca – I have lost all connection with myself and Goddess. I feel so unworthy of Her and I have let Her down as well as many other people, including my own husband. I have no good energy to conduct within rituals and to help others with at this time. Even my crystal healing has been on hold.

I have recognised that I had problems and I tried to do things that have made me happy and positive but they literally lasted one day before my mood would do a 180° turn and I would end up more miserable the next day. So I finally went to the doctor after I wrote down some thoughts and showed them to my husband who recognised that they were very dark and that I really needed to get help – my darling husband has been so supportive for me and I love him dearly for that. I feel so sorry for him that I put him through this – but he promised me and I promised him that we would always love and support each other no matter what.

I’ve signed up for a therapy scheme and only time will tell if I need to go on any medications. Until then, it is a waiting game.

It’s also a good opportunity to look within myself and face my darkness, my shadow self, like Persephone Herself did and emerge as an initiated when the time is right for the light, my light to shine once again.

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Apologies for the short blog, but I’d thought to let you all know.

Until then, take care and Bright Blessings. xxx

Woman, Witch & Wife

Heyo everyone! BESD_Avatar_by_PhuiJL2

Sorry, that is has been a while, I have been so busy!

Mainly life changes because…

As of 6th September 2017, I officially and lawfully became…a wife.

Yes, you heard right – I got married! 😀

I got married to my soul mate, my life partner, my true love, my husband – Christopher Saunders at 10am on Wednesday 6th September 2017.

The full moon was in the sign of Pisces (my husband’s star sign), so that was a good sign overall! Also the Mercury Retrograde had ended the day before – thank Goddess!!
And it was almost 13 years ago that we first contacted each other, 10 years when we began to properly date. (13 and 10 are very lucky numbers in my book and in a spiritual sense too!)
And thanks to these  little synchronicities – the day went very, very well – no major hiccups – and everyone enjoyed themselves, while Chris and I were over the moon with happiness and love.

So here are some photos from the day.

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As one can see, I wore a simple, off shoulder white dress, with a handmade quartz crystal crown and carried a single white rose.

Jewellery wise: I wore my silver rainbow moonstone pentacle necklace and pearl earrings. The gold wedding band (which belonged to my late maternal Nana) was the only other adornment once it had been received.

Make-up: The Body Shop Fresh Nude Foundation in 010. The Body Shop Volumising Mascara in Black. Sleek Highlighter pallet in Solstice. The Body Shop Matte Lipstick in New Orleans Scarlet.

My husband, wore a simple black suit, shirt and shoes. He chose not to wear a ring, which is perfectly fine with me.

Overall –  I am so happy to have Chris in my life and was extremely happy that Chris and I got the wedding we wanted.
I wanted the wedding to be about BOTH of us (which seems rare to me nowadays – it’s always focussed on the bride to a degree in my personal opinion) and as well everyone else in the family who was there to be happy and comfortable.

After the ceremony, we finished things off by having a wedding lunch at a local bistro and then we went back to our flat, socialized a bit then everyone went their separate ways. Our neighbours surprised Chris and I – by booking a night at the Wellington Hotel in Boscastle for our honeymoon – which was extremely kind of them to do so (Chris and I had mentioned in passing that we were going to honeymoon next year as we couldn’t afford it straight after the wedding).

We had a wonderful time in Boscastle and the Wellington Hotel – it truly felt like a Goddess blessing.

I am so happy and so very much in love with my husband – even more so than I was 13 years ago when I first met him. My love for him continues to keep growing – there is not a day that goes past where our love for one another grows.

I love you Chris, thank you for being with me and for allowing me to become your wife. Thank you for your love and support. I will do the same for you. ❤

So I apologise that it’s a short blog, but I have been busy with the new husband (take that as you will… XD) and making lots of changes in many things.

Until the next time, I wish you the Brightest Blessings and take care!
xxx

My Top 5 Disney Films

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So, I decided to take a break from writing about spiritual things for the time being…after all, this is a blog that is encompassing the things in life that make me happy and it’s not all related to my spiritual practices and beliefs.

So this blog is going to be dedicated to my top 5 Disney films.

I have always loved Disney films ever since my late Nana and Grandpa put them on every Saturday my family went to see them when I was little, right up till the days they passed away. Disney films are something that make me extremely happy and brighten up my day when I watch them, no matter what. I love the themes, the music, the songs the characters…there was always a message that I understood and felt aligned to within the movie.

Walt Disney definitely understood the magic, impact and messages that animated and live action films could portray to the audience, both big and small. And he knew how to portray his films in a way that everyone could enjoy them. He knew how to take a story, good or bad, happy or sad and sprinkle it with a little magic to make it memorable for everyone.

Some of my favourite quotes from Walt Disney himself include:

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So today, I will talk a little about each film that really inspired me, both during my youth and adult years (thus far) and tell you why these top 5 are my favourite.
Why 5?
Well…I am a pinickity bitch to put it politely.
I KNOW what I like and what I DON’T like.
I am picky.

Deal with it. 🙂

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THESE FILMS!)

Top 5 Disney Films

  • In at Number 5…Atlantis: The Lost Empire. (2001)

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    This is a very good action packed animated film.
     The basic plot is of a group of rag-tag, unlikely explores looking to make the archaeological find of the century – Atlantis – but stumble across a still-living civilisation and the great power it holds. And when that power is threatened to be used and abused, it’s up to the linguist Milo Thatch and Princess Kida of Atlantis to restore the power and save the ancient civilisation.

    What I liked about this film was the research into all the theories the modern world has about Atlantis – from technology to crystals to a well-advanced culture. I also loved the action – there are no songs in this film (although I wish there was!) – it was a slow action crescendo to the finale where the true power of Atlantis is unleashed to save all within it.
    I also did not see the twist come through before the finale – where the true villains are revealed – the film did everything to make it look as though the villains were someone else (kinda like with Frozen).

    I liked Kida, Princess of Atlantis – she was very strong and independent warrior woman and willing to talk to Milo and the others in order to save her people and culture – she is definitely an over-looked Disney Princess. All I can further say about her is…wow…the magic with the crystals she does – very awe-inspiring to a crystal healer like myself. 🙂

  • In at Number 4…The Hunchback of Notre Dame. (1996)

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    One of the “darkest” themed Disney films out there, I loved how, as a child, I could see the basic messages of  “standing up for justice and don’t treat others different because of…” but as I got older…whoa boy…

    The Hunchback of Notre Dame stars Quasimodo, the deformed bell-ringer and his adventures on leaving Notre Dame to explore Paris with the gypsy Esmerelda, while trying to deal with his strict and religious master, Frollo. But when Frollo starts to go after Esmerelda and threaten the very safety of Notre Dame and Paris, Quasimodo must rise up against all the rigid strictures he has been brought up to follow and has dealt with to save everyone

    The Hunchback of Notre Dame deals with real-life issues of discrimination, racism, dark desires (lust) and religious fanaticism. Subtle, but it IS there.

    I loved Esmerelda, her sense of freedom and justice being important to me (as a Sagittarius, I can totally relate to those issues) and Quasimodo, his kindness than shone through no matter what, despite him being treated different because of his deformity – but even as a child, I saw the themes of discrimination  – even if I did not understand it at the time. It was the same for some of Frollo’s scenes – they made me shiver as I understood that something dark was there – but did not understand until I was older. It’s incredible and scary and creepy when you think about the deeper meanings as you grow older. And you appreciate the film for that protrayal when you were a child and as an adult. But the film is still there for all the family to enjoy.

    Such is the wonders of Disney to portray such strong messages for both younger and older!

  • In at Number 3…Frozen. (2013)

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    Probably, no surprise to anyone…Frozen is a modern Disney masterpiece with the main message of “be yourself”.

    Frozen is about two royal sisters, Elsa and Anna. Elsa is hiding a secrect…she holds the power of ice. Anna, oblivious to her sister’s torment – accidentally reveals her sister’s powers at Elsa’s coronation, which in turn sets off an eternal winter. So it up to Anna to find her sister, reconcile and bring back summer. However, only an “act of true love” can thaw a frozen heart and save the kingdom and the sisters,  so Anna and Elsa try to be true to themselves and work out their relationship as sisters, to save their home..

    I will admit, I did not see this film until one year later, after it came out – and it came along at a crucial time in my life. I watched it when I went through my depression in the winter of 2014 and (no surprise to anyone again…) “Let It Go” really resonated with me – letting go of past hurts and moving forward and being yourself – all resonated with me as I also found my spiritual path in Wicca around the same time. This film also made me appreciate my relationship with my little sister even more so as well. Love doesn’t have to be romantic…family love is just as important.

    Elsa and Anna were both very interesting characters and both resonated with me – Elsa being more so – as both sisters are trying to be themselves but they’re conforming to social formalities (at first) and then breaking those boundaries, pushing the limits and learning about themselves and fighting past the fear that can warp and destroy, if love doesn’t factor into relationships. I loved the villain twist near the finale too – so unexpected but amazingly done.

    It truly was a film that touched everyone’s heart and thawed them to reveal many true selves to shine through in a better way. Mine included. 🙂

  • In at Number 2…Moana. (2015)

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    Wow…is all I can say about this film.
    I know I said I wouldn’t bring spirituality into this blog but….

    THERE’S SO MANY GODDESS REFERENCES IN THIS FILM!!!!!

    But…keeping it real…this film follows the same path of Frozen of being true to yourself, discovering yourself and following your true self.
    And you know what else is cool about this film?
    There is no “love” themes within it either. Which is not a bad thing…it’s just different, mixing up the formula a little and…it worked out in this film.

    Moana…a story about a girl who is set to be the next chief of her people, but has a great love for something taboo – the ocean. But when her island is threatened with destruction, Moana has to break the taboo to sail the ocean and restore the Heart of Te Fiti – the Goddess who gave life to the world. Along the way she teams up with a demigod – Maui – who teaches her about the ocean and the adventure allows Moana to explore and discover what it is that makes Moana…her true self.

    And that really touched my heart in the best way possible. The scenes with Grandma Tala touched me deeply and reminded me of my own Nana and how she inspired me.
    Even with all odds against you, you should always listen to the voice inside and follow what you love – no matter what it is. Be true to yourself. Be who you are. Be someone who “…Knows the way…”.

  • In at Number 1…Beauty and the Beast. (1991 & 2017)


    Yeah…I know…
    I have listed both versions here…I seriously LOVED both of them!

    But if I REALLY, REALLY had to pick just one – it would be the 1991 version.Ok, all I can say about these films is…they are PERFECTION in my eyes.

    Wonderful and beautiful story, visuals, music, themes, songs, characters, magic….
    Need I say more?

    Beauty and the Beast (1991) was the first Disney film I ever remember seeing and it having a major impact on me.

    Beauty and the Beast is about a village girl named Belle, who wants “more than this provincial life…” and gets it when her father is taken prisoner inside an enchanted castle, home of the Beast; a prince cursed for being selfish – his only hope is to find love and earn it in return before the last enchanted rose petal falls. Belle is able to show the bad-tempered Beast kindness throughout the film and is able to see through the Beast and realise the man within and bring back out the kindness that had always been hidden within the Beast. But there is a shadow in the form of Gaston – a man who wants Belle for himself and is willing to do anything to get her, leading to an epic battle  on the castle rooftops and wonderful magic and transformations to occur after love triumphs!

    First off…Belle is a brunette and a bookworm…kinda like me! She is feisty and independent and knows what she wants out of life, besides romance – kinda like me! Belle can also see the true person within and doesn’t judge a book by its cover (yeah…I know…I had to do at least one bad pun in here!), kinda like me!

    So yeah, Belle is the Disney Princess that I can relate to the most and as such, she has always been my favourite since I first saw her. Princess Belle is probably my most inspirational idol besides Neo Queen Serenity from Sailor Moon.
    Belle’s gold ball gown – definitely memorable. I remember trying to dress up in skirts and tops of my mum’s that related to the colours of what Belle would wear in the film as it came on (but I cried EVERYTIME when the ballroom scene came on as I didn’t have anything to represent the gold ball gown) – that’s how much I loved the film – apart from belting out nearly all the songs on a regular basis. And I still sing the songs a lot even now as an adult!

    The themes within the film are so intense and subtle at the same time. Especially the theme of not judging something by appearance along…which is something modern society and the whole damn world still needs to learn and catch up on!
    But going back to the film, Belle being ostracised by the village for the simple act of reading – it reflects what happened to me during High School in some ways –  I was made fun of for being “different” in that I loved reading and I wanted to be an archaeologist/Egyptologist and did things that weren’t the “norm”. I am sure that many, many of you can relate to that in some way.

    Also the fact that when you meet someone new, it will take time to get to know them, despite their outward appearance. Some of the nicest people in the world have tattoos, grumpy attitudes etc., and some of the most lovely looking people out there have actually a very ugly soul inside. People always wear a “mask” at first meetings and you can never really know who they are or what they are like until you can see past the outer appearance, get to know them after a period of time and see who they truly are inside.

    People should NEVER judge on others but outward appearance alone. But we do and it’s no wonder the world is such a sad, dark place now.
    I think we all need to look back and realise how ridiculous the world is now and start to take steps to make it brighter and happier, where people can be who they want to be and not be judged by it.

    Anyways…

    Beauty and the Beast is my absolute top favourite Disney film of all time. It is such a beautiful story and is still very inspirational to me and many others to this day. Belle was seen as being one of the first independent Disney Princesses who didn’t follow the “older” pattern of waiting to be saved by a Prince – it was Belle who actually did the saving, if you think about it.

    And she did it by being herself, by being kind, by not judging by appearance, by taking time to getting to know the Beast and in turn was able to save the day with her bright soul and love.

    That, in of itself, is truly awe-inspiring. And it lights up my soul everytime I think of this film and it’s beauty…both without and within.

So, there you have it – my top 5 favourite Disney films of all time (thus far).
I am glad that I got to share this with you, more than likely in the future this list could be revamped depending on what other films Disney will bring out in the future, but I think I can safely say the number 1 spot will always go to Beauty and the Beast.

It will always hold a special place in my heart, childhood and adulthood.

Not going to lie – it was also nice to do a blog that had nothing to do with spirituality too! It’s always good to mix things up – that’s how one keeps things interesting and fresh. 🙂

I do hope that you enjoyed this blog post and that in some small way, it has made you think of your own favourite Disney films and appreciate them more for what they are.

So until the next time, take care and Brightest Blessings to you all.
xxx

 

 

 

Dark Night Of The Soul #2 – The Persephone Ascent

Heyo everyone! BESD_Avatar_by_PhuiJL2

How are you all doing?

Me?
Well…I am much better now than what I was about 2 months ago.

If you wish to know in full what has happened in the past, please refer to my previously blog post here.

And for a quick recap:

For the past few months I have been going through a state of depression, questioning everything about myself, my beliefs, self-esteem etc.
When this happens, we witches/Wiccans call this a Dark Night Of The Soul.

This is simply a fancy way for saying that we are going through a dark time in order to see who we really are within ourselves and when we emerge, we have discovered new things and have a greater understanding of who we are and are more in alignment with our own True Self.

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The final steps out into the light from the darkness are so revealing and wonderful to behold!

I have learned much and I am still learning and growing, but now I am doing it in the light.
I have emerged from the Underworld. I have completed my Persephone Ascent.

And it all started with what I had discovered about myself in my previous blog post. To pick out what I said previously:

“…I think I am beginning to understand about myself more in little ways: for example, when I feel down, I can get artistic/creative and that makes me feel a little happy – and I am also slowly rediscover my passion for Goddess, although I still have bigger battles to fight, such as the feelings of self-esteem and worthiness and having to trust and let go completely…”

In fact, being creative during my descent has helped me so much in so many ways.
Amazingly, there are also many spiritual and witchcraft books that recommend that either when you are on a Dark Night Of The Soul or on your period (which is a powerful magical thing for us female witches!) – get creative!

Go and do new things – it helps to take your mind off what your ego or shadow self may be trying to impose on you negatively – yes, I do understand that it can be VERY hard to motivate yourself to do so when depression/mental illness has its claws firmly around you in what may be a vice-like grip – I have been there.

But…you do not need to do anything big or dramatic to take that first baby step.
Start by writing, drawing, singing, dancing your feelings out.
That is creativity.
That is a small step.

It has been proven, scientifically, that by doing the above things – it does help out in the long run. It’s just finding a method that suits you.
For me personally, it was writing and music. I’d put on my favourite music while writing out my feelings or using my writing in a creative way.

Heck, even writing out the previous blog – that was a small step in getting me out of the dark and understanding myself. 🙂

Going back to the quote; I have done a ton of creative things, these projects were mostly spaced out but the slide show below will show you what I got up to creatively.

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So I did a few hand made crafts and rearranged my bedroom altar and made a new Goddess shrine in the bedroom too. (P.S. I will be doing a blog on my altars/shrines in the future!).

All this kept me busy, positive and allowed my passion for life and Goddess to shine through.

But I think what really got me out was the fact that, within 3 days I had made a new Book of Shadows; I have written and created within this book non-stop, all my basic knowledge, sacred texts, correspondences.

A Book Of Shadows is a book that contains all the witches knowledge, spells, rituals and notes/thoughts on their spiritual life and path.

I personally have 2 – one is a diary of my thoughts, rituals (usually Esbats – moon rituals) and spells; the other is a culmination of all knowledge I have thus far.

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Everything you see in my Book of Shadows in the slide show is all hand written and drawn by yours truly. But I will not show you anything further than what I have – after all a Book of Shadows is private and personal to the individual, but I am OK with showing what is probably known to all pagans, such as the Wheel of the Year.

On top of being creative: I have also gotten back into reading my spiritual books. Before, I was only able to read and digest a few pages at a time.
Then, after getting creative; that in turn allowed me to read more and more – I finished 3 books within 1 week – talk about making up for lost time!

And within these books, I began to see parallels to myself and what I was going through – a whole heaping of understanding washed through me with every book I finished – my shadow self and ego fought very hard against the truths that were coming through me and helping me see and be more aligned with my True Self, but I fought on and read more and understood more to the point where my ego and shadow self are (currently) no longer anything more than a white noise to me.

I also went for Transformation Healing with a friend on a weekly basis – this type of healing works at a soul level – with your True Self and it involves you actually healing yourself, not the practitioner, they are there to guide the energy within the session. It is amazing, very emotion and revealing stuff – if one ever gets a opportunity to try it – I would highly recommend it – it worked wonders for me.

I was able to deal with old belief systems that I had instilled in me as a child and let them go or change them; I was able to see into some past lives I had and recognise where some feelings of guilt, shame and fear came from that made no sense in this current lifetime and face it and let it go (mostly, I am still working on some things!).

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I have looked into the mirror and have seen more of the truth of who I am.

In all, these past few months have been tough and dark, but they have been so healing and revealing for me too.

I have no doubt that more Dark Nights Of The Soul will come again in the future, hopefully not for a long while (fingers crossed…or pentacled!), but now that I have emerged from Hades with Persephone by my side, I do feel like a new person, with greater understanding of who I am.

I am a beautiful being of love and light.
I am a daughter of the Goddess.
I am a healer, a crystal healer.
I am a witch.

I am me.
I am Emma Jane Glasgow.

Thank you for reading.
Bright Blessings to you all.

xxx

Dark Night Of The Soul – A Persephone Descent #1

Heyo everyone! BESD_Avatar_by_PhuiJL2

Yeah, it HAS been a while…and for good reason.

As one can see from the title – I have been going through a “Dark Night Of The Soul”.
For those who may be unfamiliar with the phrase, a Dark Night Of The Soul is used mainly to describe when one is in a situation where they are reflecting most deeply on themselves, facing their shadows/darkness/fears/ego and traveling within to see who they truly are, so that when they emerge from the dark into the light – they have a better understanding of who and what they are.

One becomes more their “True Self” as it were.

Or in more simpler terms – they are facing themselves in their darkest moments and have to battle with that so that they can emerge into the light as a better person.

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Dark Nights Of The Soul are NEVER easy.
They are hard and challenging.
They literally tear you apart…
And put you back together.
They make you face parts of yourself that you wish you did not have to face.
They can take time to allow change to happen.
Dark Nights Of The Soul are a time for reflection.
Dark Nights Of The Soul force you to face you who truly are.
Dark Nights Of The Soul…are HEALING.

Dark Nights Of The Soul are a constant challenge to anyone on a spiritual path…as a spiritual path is the way to connect to your own higher “True Self” and are constant tests for us to improve ourselves as well as heal from any past hurts and fears or to battle with our earth-based ego to reach an enlightened truth.

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Like the Moon, Goddess guides us through our darkest times, even in a Dark Night Of The Soul, even if you think you cannot feel/hear/see Her, Goddess is always watching because She cares and loves you, no matter what.

For me, personally, it has been hard these past few months.
It has been quite a Descent Into The Underworld, for me.

Like Persephone in the famous legend of Her decent to the Underworld when kidnapped by Hades, I too am being dragged down into the unknown and the dark, frightened like a child and uninitiated.
And like Persephone afterward, She gains the knowledge of death and powerful mysteries and so returns as a woman, initiated in the secrets and becomes Queen of the Underworld.
But the Underworld and Hades does not let his Queen go easily. Hades tricks Persephone into eating seeds of the pomegranate so that She becomes a part of the Underworld and so has to remain there for a certain length of the year (which is usually the winter months).

hades_and_persephone_2_by_sandara-d3hkrew

Hades & Persephone
by Sandara

But for me, it has been like that, in some ways.
I have been trying to get to grips with myself and climb back out of the dark…but as soon as I do, I just get dragged back down again. Constant questions spiral in my head to my worthiness of serving Goddess, myself as a human being, questioning my beliefs about everything from the physical realm, love and spiritual to trivial matters that may not be a big deal to another, but are to me.
I have also lost a lot of energy and enthusiasm for doing anything…I have been like a robot: get up, do some housework, go on the PC, go to work, cook diner, bed.
My energy has been to the point where I would just lie in bed for most of the day and just either think nothing or think of everything at once at 100mph.

I am sure that some of you can relate – depression and mental illness, no matter where they are on the scale, are not easy to deal with and are certainly not fun.
They are tough and difficult to fight, especially if one thinks that they are alone and not worthy of any kind of support.

Thankfully, I am not alone – I have my family, my spiritual family, friends and my life partner Chris to help and support me. But it has been hard on them – they all worry like crazy when they can see or sense that I am not who I am truly.
As one friend said “You’ve lost you spark…” and she was right.

I did lose my spark and now I am in the process of trying to rediscover it.

Silver Moon Crystal

I have to find what makes my heart and soul shine bright.

The most hard part of dealing with a Dark Night Of The Soul for me personally was the question of worthiness and acceptance.

Sounds strange huh?
From meeting me for the first time, you’d probably say that I am a confident, enthusiastic, bright, deserving person who has every right to be worthy of serving Goddess.

Nope.

Since a few years ago, (which will be another blog post for another time) I had never had any problems with worthiness and acceptance of who I am and of what lights me up and makes me happy. But until about 5 years ago, due to a certain year being really bad for me (OK, you twisted my arm…it was 2013, but as I said, that is another blog for another time), that year made me question my worthiness of being ME and I went through severe depression because of it. I honestly thought that I had dealt with it back then. Now it has come back to haunt me, in a newer form.
It has also stemmed from wanting to people-please and seek acceptance – confirmation of my own abilities that have awakened over the past 2 years.
I constantly worry about my medium-ship and physic abilities – am I really seeing what I am sensing or am I making it all up?
I don’t want to be a liar or give people a false hope about things I see or feel. I don’t want to lead people on…I want to help them with my abilities and serve the Goddess, but (and I think that this is a typical Sagittarius trait) I also constantly need assurance and confirmation about what I am doing. I need a teacher or supporter to constantly keep saying, “Yes, you are doing good…you are helping and healing…you are seeing/feeling what you see/feel…you are not fake…”

And at the same time, I have had a hard time in trusting myself and trusting in Goddess and spirit. Like many typical Sagittarius, I always need to be in control or retain some kind of control – I do not like letting go.
That has been the most hardest lesson to try and learn during the Dark Night Of The Soul.

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I have not cut myself off from my spirituality, I still have faith and I have still been going to ritual and such, but I have kept my distance, trying to figure myself out.

It hasn’t been easy.
But slowly, I think I am beginning to understand about myself more in little ways: for example, when I feel down, I can get artistic/creative and that makes me feel a little happy – and I am also slowly rediscover my passion for Goddess, although I still have bigger battles to fight, such as the feelings of self-esteem and worthiness and having to trust and let go completely…I know that the Dark Night Of The Soul is not over.
I know, deep down, that this is going to take some time to play out…the Underworld has not yet let me go…it’s simple not my time to return to the light…yet.

But when I do, I know that I will have gone through change in a most wonderful, maybe even in a painful way…but alas, transformation is never easy nor totally pain free. One must learn harsh truths and face them. Only then can you open the door. Only then can one shine their True Self brightly and balance it with the dark.

I think that is all that I can discuss for the time being now. There will probably be a follow up later – I am still in the Dark Night Of The Soul.

Persephone is calling me. And I must answer the Goddess call.

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Cave by Iryiu

 

Brightest Blessings to you all.
xxx

Selenite – My Goddess Crystal

Hello everyone! BESD_Avatar_by_PhuiJL2

Today’s blog will all be about my absolute favorite crystal ever…

selenite-crystal-ball

I personally only came into contact with this crystal about 3 years ago, when I first started my spirituality in Wicca and Witchcraft, but this crystal has really connected with me and changed my life for the better in many ways.
So I’d like to introduce you to…

Selenite – My Goddess Crystal.

The Science And History

Selenite is a form of gypsum – salt residue left behind from millions of years ago, when low-level, inland seas dried up, allowing the salt solute in the water to harden and form into this (mostly) white, soft crystal.
Often, it is found in wand-like forms and even more recently, giant pillars but there are also forms where it forms a flower-like shape – this is often called “desert rose”.

 

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Selenite has several color variations, depending on the mineral inclusions – it can range from colorless to pure white to a dull brown to a gorgeous orange-peach to blue.
On the Mohs scale (a scale that tests and ranges the hardness of a crystal), Selenite comes in at 2 – it is easily scratched even with a fingernail.
And it’s chemical formula is as thus: CaSO4·2H2O calcium sulfate dihydrate.

As you may or may not know – Selenite is named after the Greek Goddess of the Moon – Selene.
And Selene is my patron Goddess that I worship within my Wicca/Witchcraft spirituality.

Selene

Selene, the Greek Goddess of the Moon. Her Roman equivalent is Luna.

So this is such a perfect stone for me to work with within my spirituality – it is literally my Goddess Stone.
My connection to Selene.
Selene’s name is based of the Greek word, Selas (σέλας) – which translates to “light”.
A good name for the crystal – as it glows a pearly white colour – especially under moonlight. In fact there are legends that selenite is the left over material from the Moon Goddess’s cloak.

Because selenite is so soft – it can be easily carved into a myriad of ornaments and tools – crystal balls, wands, candle holders to name but a few.

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It is a most beautiful crystal.

Selenite Crystal Meanings

Selenite is a useful crystal to have, especially if one is a crystal healer, or a healer in general.

Selenite has many crystal meanings: the most common is the connections to the moon, female cycles and angels or spirit guides.

It is also a Goddess stone – it connects directly to Selene. If one holds this crystal and firmly holds an image of Selene within their mind – you can talk directly to the Goddess via the crystal. And in turn, She will talk to you.

Selenite has the ability to create mental clarity, cleanse the aura and clear energy blocks, dispel negativity and protect you from negativity and bring a sense of calm and peace about oneself.

It can also help to connects to past lives and is great for any mediation work as it allows you to connect with your True Self.

Because it is a white/colourless stone, it can also be used on all the main 7 chakras (energy points) on the body, but is especially connected to the Crown (top of the head) and Sacral (reproductive organs) chakra.
Why?
Because, within most spiritual and Pagan practices – white is seen as pure and holding all 7 main colours of the rainbow – so it can be used to substitute for any other colour, as long as you charge or program the crystal with the right colour you need at that time.

chakra

1. Root Chakra. 2. Sacral Chakra. 3. Solar Plexus Chakra. 4. Heart Chakra. 5. Throat Chakra. 6. Third Eye Chakra. 7. Crown Chakra.

Selenite connects with the Crown, because the Crown connects to the Divine energy and wisdom; and the Sacral (mostly for women) because of it’s connect to the Divine Feminine and creation, which starts within the womb.

Selenite is a crystal that most people can work with and can have within their homes – it’s not that hard to get – and is easy to look after but be warned…

Don’t mix Selenite with water or any liquids.

It was formed from a salt ocean millions of years ago – what do you think will happen?
Selenite crumbles and separates into sheaths once mixed with a liquid –  I have heard many a sad tale, where someone who has just bought a beautiful Selenite crystal object, they go to clean it or bless it with water…
And yeah…I think you get the idea…

The best way to cleanse and rejuvenate Selenite, (in my honest opinion) is the simply put it under moonlight.

It IS a Goddess crystal after all, so why not ask the Moon Goddess to bless and cleanse Her crystal?

Whoa…
I think that is all that I can write for this crystal at this time.

Selenite is truly an amazing crystal and if you get a chance to try it out – I would advise you to do so.

I believe that all crystals on this Earth are a gift from Goddess.

And Selenite is truly a gift of the Moon Goddess.

It is a true Goddess Stone.

Until next time, I hope that you enjoyed this blog and take care.

Bright Blessings.
xxx

 

Just A Quick One!

Heyo everyone! BESD_Icon_by_OriginalFluffyFace

Sorry that I have not updated for a while…

I’ve been very busy!
Mainly life things as well as spiritual things have been taking priority and growing and learning and such…

I cannot wait to tell you what HAS happened!

But that can wait until next blog. Sorry! Don’t want to spoil everything…yet.

Until then, take care and Bright Blessings!

xxx

Spiritual Idol: Blue-Eyes White Dragon

ArtHello everyone! BESD_Avatar_by_PhuiJL2

Today’s blog will actually be about a spiritual idol that has been dear to me ever since I was a teenager…

The majestic, powerful and (in most cases) unstoppable…

Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

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Blue-Eyes White Dragon, the original artwork.

The Blue-Eyes White Dragon and it’s many upgraded, evolved and support forms are all from the Japanese manga and anime Yu-Gi-Oh! (King of Games).

The Blue-Eyes White Dragon came into my life back into 2004, which was when the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime and card game were just beginning to be shown and played on T.V. respectively. I pretty much fell in love with the card and built a TCG deck based around it. Because it was a fun and not competitive deck (and did not have the support cards it doesn now) – I would lose a lot of duels but I had fun.
I even made a YouTube channel, with my name EmmaBlueEyes10, to record my duels, make information videos and put out my thoughts and opinions on the game.

And to this day, it is still the manga artist’s, Kazuki Takahashi, favourite monster.
And also, it is one of the most recognisable symbols of Yu-Gi-Oh in general.

So, back story of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon…

Back Story: The White Dragon Ka

3000 years ago, in the civilisation of Ancient Egypt, people from the Pharaoh to the commoners had battles against one another, using “Ka” monsters – a reflection of their soul. Some of these monster were put into stone slabs, allowing others to summon the monsters whenever they pleased.
During the reign of Pharaoh Atemu (the main protagonist of the series), a young girl with white hair, skin and eyes of blue, wandered into the city.
Her name was Kisara.
Priest Seto (Seto Kaiba’s past incarnation) found her and took her into his protection, but not before finding out from the Millennium Items – 7 powerful, golden magical items that grant different abilities – that this girl had a very powerful Ka within her – in the form of a White Dragon, whose power was equal to that of the Gods.

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Priest Seto, Kisara & The White Dragon. Artwork by Kazuki Takahashi.

But Kisara herself, did not know of it.
This puzzled Seto, until Kisara was put into a situation that forced her to fight resulting in Seto trying to save her. She was knocked unconscious and just as the final blow was about to be dealt to Seto…
The White Dragon appeared from Kisara’s body.
Unleashing its power, it protected Seto then disappeared as Kisara began to stir. That’s when it became clear – Kisara WAS the White Dragon – it wasn’t a reflection of her soul…it was her very soul leaving her body.

Sadly, Kisara would later be killed for her power and sealed away in a stone tablet by the great evil that Pharaoh Atemu eventually sacrifices himself to stop. Seto, briefly under the control of the evil, tried to use the White Dragon against Atemu, but Kisara appeared to him in his mind and along with her White Dragon, banished the evil from Seto’s mind, before departing to the afterlife. This resulted in Priest Seto taking this powerful gift and using it to rule Egypt in the stance of Pharaoh.

This explains Seto’s modern incarnation – Kaiba – why he has such an obsession with the Blue-Eyes White Dragon card in the revived ancient game “Duel Monsters”- it was the soul of the girl that he had saved and in turn, she saved him.

In all, a tragic “love” story (Kazuki Takahashi wanted to expand on the story and add a love element but did not have time too), but one that has several messages within it.
1. Light ALWAYS defeats the darkness.
2. Great strength can come from anyone.
3. Power must be used wisely or it will turn against you.
4. Love, is a source of power.
5. Some bonds can last over several lifetimes.

Blue-Eyes White Dragon: Modern Game Incarnation

Blue-Eyes White Dragon is a Level 8, Dragon-type, LIGHT attribute, Normal Monster, with 3000 ATK and 2500 Def.
It’s flavour text reads as thus:
“This legendary dragon is a powerful engine of destruction. Virtually invincible, very few have faced this awesome creature and lived to tell the tale.”

These base stats alone, make it one of the strongest monsters in the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG. In fact, in the Normal type monster cards – it reigns as THE strongest.

And it has several upgrades.
Fuse/Merge 3 of these dragons together and you get Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon – a three-headed form that has 4500 ATK and 3800 DEF.
Tribute a BEUD and you can upgrade to the Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon – a cybernetic form that has the original base stats of a Blue-Eyes White Dragon, but has several special effects.

And then there are many alternate forms: Blue-Eyes Alternate Dragon, Blue-Eyes Spirit Dragon, Legendary Dragon of White…you get the idea.
There are also a lot of support cards – cards that are NOT Blue-Eyes themselves, but help the archetype in general. The cards with “…Eyes of Blue” or “White/Ancient Stone” for example, focus on getting the Dragons out from your main dueling deck to your hand and onto the playing field to overwhealm the opponent. And cards with “Azure-Eyes” such as Azure-Eyes Silver Dragon, help to revive your Blue-Eyes monsters and protect them when they have been destroyed.

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Blue-Eyes White Dragon: My Spiritual Idol

OK, now that are actually getting to the part of the blog that explains it all..

Why is the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, such a spiritual inspiration to me?

Well, one reason is reflected in its card stats in a way. It’s a monster of light – which represent purity, innocence, the sun, the moon, strength, spirituality.
It’s base ATK and DEF also show its strength that you can have a good offense and defense for any situation – whether it’s a TCG or life. 😀
The all too obvious fact that is it a DRAGON – which is one of the ultimate, spiritual and mythical monsters in human culture. Dragons are often seen as the symbols of the Goddess in Wicca Witchcraft spirituality.
It’s a powerful monster the deserves respect or you get the full brunt of its White Lightning/Burst Stream of Destruction attack.
Oh, did I mention that when it attacks – it attacks with lightning?
Plus…it is one cool-looking monster and I have a little tin figurine of a Blue-Eyes White Dragon on my personal altar (which I do plan to blog on in the future), because it means so much to me.

I also loved the tragic figure of Kisara in both the manga and anime.
I thought, although her role was in a way minor (she only appears in the last season of the anime series). she ended up having a major impact on the second main character: Seto Kaiba in both his past and modern forms.
Kisara represented; innocence, kindness, quiet strength, a light in the darkness – similar to Neo Queen Serenity but on a much smaller scale (affecting only Seto) but exuding  great power in a  form that was a symbol of spirituality and purity.

I do kinda wish that she had been brought back in a modern way in the anime series, but since she was the Blue-Eyes, and we see enough of the dragon in the anime, I guess there was no real reason to.
She still lives on, through the Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

Yeah and also…

I have a Blue-Eyes White Dragon as a familiar or a witch’s pet.

You are probably thinking…“What…the…hell?”

Well, when one begins to awaken spiritually, often the spirit guides/angels who guide and protect you will often present themselves in a form that is familiar to you. Sometimes, one can create a spiritual being to help them in a spiritual sense – this is often the familiar. You usually create familiars to represent something that is familiar to you – a favourite pet, mythical creature, a character from history or fiction. Sometimes when one creates a familiar with no particular form in mind – it will choose, like a guide, a form that is familiar and comfortable to you.

Mine was created completely unintentionally.

Blue-Eyes, as I call her, was created for protection as her first function, but she is a good all-round purpose familiar.
Two months or so before my First Degree Initiation, I had an encounter with a very negative entity. I fought it off, but the incident scared me so bad, that I shut myself down completely in a spiritual sense. I had nightmares, was worried that it could come back and was fearful of my abilities.
After a short while,  with my mind’s eye – I began to see a Blue-Eyes White Dragon curl around the bed. At first, I thought this to be my imagination, until a certain incident. Just on the verge of sleep, I swear to Goddess, I saw the Blue-Eyes White Dragon look up from its curled position around the bed and leap out the window to attack something. It chased off whatever the entity was and then came back through the window with a cute face of “…look at what I did Mommy!” And then curled itself around the bed once more, and I finally drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep.

When I spoke of the incident to my High Priestess, she looked at me both proud and shocked and told me that I had created a familiar.
It makes sense in some way – I had always imagined having a Blue-Eyes as a pet would be cool, but never expected to actually have one!

Blue-Eyes is always present with me.

Whether it’s a wallpaper on my phone, my familiar, the card game I use to play – the Blue-Eyes White Dragon has always been a part of me since teenage-hood.
It has always been a positive symbol for me – purity, strength, spirituality.
And it continues to do so to this day.

I am very happy and grateful that this dragon came into my life.

Thank you, Blue-Eyes White Dragon.

Until next blog, take care and Brightest Blessings!
xxx